


Running Down To The Riptide

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Category: Hanson (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, Boston, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Denial of Feelings, Drunken Kissing, Engagement, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Sexual Content, Weddings, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-11-13 23:18:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Harry is in love with Zac which would be fine but well he isn't too positive Zac loves him back. Not when Zac is engaged to be married to a woman in two weeks even if he is seeing Harry in secret





	1. Narnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "Because you keep looking at my brother like you'd do cruel things to him, like murder if it was legal," Avery laughed before shaking her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry glared some as he sat at Zac's engagement party and just listened to the way that Zac talked on and on about how happy he was to be getting married to Josie. How he was looking forward to being her husband and having kids with her and everyone here also seemed truly happy for him.

Then again everyone here was oblivious to his lies and the fact that when he was at home in the apartment he shared with Harry it was Harry he was getting his sex from. When Zac had his free time it wasn't his straight friends he was hanging out with at night. No, Zac hung out with a group of friends they had made at a gay club in town.

It was a life Zac usually liked to be kept hidden and secret, not even Zac's family knew and Harry was friends with Avery, very good friends in fact so he hated the lying but he did it anyway because he was twenty-one and in love with a man who was so far in Narnia he probably didn't know his own way out of it.

"You okay?" a voice asked and Harry was brought out of his thoughts as he turned to look at the person speaking them.

Harry nodded as he gave Avery his best genuine smile, "Why wouldn't I be okay?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Because you keep looking at my brother like you'd do cruel things to him, like murder if it was legal," Avery laughed before shaking her head. "Are you two having some spat or something?" she asked leaning in closer to Harry. "Because I'll help you hide the body. I like experimenting with my dark side."

"I don't want to kill your brother," Harry told Avery hopefully at least clearing that up and making Avery not believe he was capable of thoughts of cold blooded murder, though he really was, in fact most of the time he thought of just killing Josie off and then running away with Zac to a place where he could help Zac come out of Narnia.

"I just think I want to get out of here for a while," Harry sighed feeling almost suffocated in this restaurant full of people all buying this farce of Zac's. "You want to come with? I have booze and movies and food."

Avery grinned at that, "You know the way to a girls heart. Just mention booze and food. It's sad your willy likes to be in boys instead of in girls because I'm pretty sure we'd have fucked in college if that was the case," she laughed referring to how Harry had met her as well as Zac.

He had been Avery's roommate long before he was Zac's. It was after Avery had moved off campus and he too had moved off campus eventually and they had both needed a roommate to even get past the rent in Boston and so they had just moved in together and it wasn't long after they moved in that Zac had came for his first visit and he had became fast friends with Harry.

Eventually once Harry had dropped out of college not long after Avery graduated he had needed a roommate and Zac had offered. Zac had gotten a new job at a high school as the art teacher and he wanted an apartment close to the high school and thus he had moved in and somewhere between moving in and now they had become friends with benefits though according to all their gay friends they acted more like a couple.

Zac and Harry did everything like a couple. They bickered over what to watch on TV and they shared a bedroom, at least when guests weren't around, when they had guests Harry would just move down the hall to his old room and they shared showers, Zac's excuse there was that it saved water and also time in the morning but then again they also shared a few night time showers too.

Harry did all the cooking and cleaning and even the groceries because god forbid if he let Zac do it. Zac would either burn the house down, forget the milk, or let the apartment turn into a pig stye.

He couldn't help but wonder if Josie knew that Zac preferred Frosted Flakes over any other cereal or if she knew he hated coffee but loved the smell of it. He wondered if she knew that Zac's favorite way to be woken up wasn't by an alarm clock each morning, it was with a mouth around his dick..preferably a mouth owned by Harry or at least Harry hoped that was the case.

Coming out of his thoughts again Harry blushed as he realized he had zoned out and Avery was just staring at him, "Sorry," he apologized as he stuck his tongue out at her. "I think your use of the word willy made me forget everything for awhile," he lied as he stood from his seat.

"Sure it did," Avery said her words having just a tiny bit of sarcasm as well as disbelief spiced in them. "You should go tell Zac and Josie were checking out and I'll go outside and wait."

Pouting Harry just batted his eyelashes, "But why am I the one who is made to do this?"

"Because I don't like being around that southern belle who thinks she's better than us Yankees," Avery smirked as she leaned in and kissed Harry's cheek. "And one British dude who is now an honorary Yankee. I'll see you outside," she said before turning and leaving.

Harry just rolled his eyes but begrudgingly made his way towards the table where Josie and Zac were sitting with a few of Zac's straight friends. Friends Harry was sure were more Josie's than his own.

When he made it there he forced a smile on his lips as Josie turned to look at him, "I just wanted to say that Avery and I are going to leave now but congratulations on the engagement..again," he spoke feeling his cheeks heat up as Zac looked at him and he swallowed hard.

Josie grinned as she batted her eyelashes at Harry, "Well it's an honor you could come Harold," she responded her southern accent coming out thick. "Any friend of Zac's is a friend of mine and I do hate that we never can ever get together often especially since you are his roommate."

Keeping his forced smile Harry tried to divert his eyes away from Zac, even as he listened to Josie talk and bat her eyelashes trying to act all perfect. "Same here honestly, any friend of Zac's is a friend of mine," he said before turning on his heels and leaving quickly so he could get outside where Avery was.

The moment he stepped outside he wrapped his jacket around himself, "Next time you want to ditch with me you're talking to that southern not so lady."

"Well the next time I have to ditch an event she will be at is her wedding to Zac which is two weeks away," Avery said as she lead the way to where her car was parked beside Harry's. "And I probably can't ditch that since Zoe, Jessica, and I are her bridesmaids..well Jessica is matron of honor since Jessica is married and no one else in the wedding party is."

Harry curled his lip in disgust as he listened to Avery talk about the wedding with Josie, "Don't remind me of that wedding. The thought alone makes me sick," he muttered as he reached where the cars were parked. "I guess this is where we part ways for the time being," he smiled before going to the driver's side of his car and getting in.

***

“Why is it necessary to put a ring on it of you’re already happy?” Harry mused several hours later as he laid in his bed with Avery, a bottle of wine in his hands and an empty bag of donuts between the both of them.

Avery turned to look at Harry, "Because sometimes the cow won't put out for free so you have to buy it for the milk."

Taking in Avery's words Harry made a face as he came to a drunken realization, "You mean Josie won't put out?" he asked his voice cracking slightly.

"According to Jessica she's waiting until marriage," Avery answered as she reached over and took the wine bottle from Harry. "You know she's a good christian and all. That's why she's marrying the preacher's son anyway. One day she probably hopes Zac will change his whole career and become a preacher too."

Harry snarled at that reminder and he swallowed a lump in his throat. He knew he and Zac had been having sex a year before Josie came into the picture but...well the sex had increased after Josie. Maybe Zac was just using him for his well milk per say. Zac was using him for free sex because his fiancee wouldn't put out.

"Avie?" he asked feeling Avery's eyes turn on him after he spoke. "W..will you kiss me?" he asked her his voice cracking a bit more now.

Avery made a confused face at her friend's request, "But you're gay Harry."

"But tonight I feel like experimenting," Harry spoke knowing he just wanted someone to make him feel better now and well he had never really been intimate with a girl before and he trusted Avery. He trusted her out of every other girl he knew and could possibly choose from. "Please."

Sighing Avery laid the wine bottle down on the bedside table before leaning into Harry and pressing her lips against his. If she were much more sober she'd probably have fought better.

Kissing Avery back Harry closed his eyes tight. It felt so foreign and wrong to kiss a girl but yet kissing her helped his pain from the thought of Zac using him go away, so he continued the kiss even allowing it to go deeper but the moment her hand went under his shirt he pulled away, almost feeling as if his skin was on fire because he was having vivid images of Zac kissing his way down his chest this morning when they had been in the shower.

"I..I can't," Harry spoke as he pulled away and shook his head.

Avery flashed him a smile, "It's fine you loon. I was just kissing you for your experimental side you had. I just hope I wasn't bad."

"You were the best kiss I had," Harry lied as he winked at Avery before adjusting his shirt.

"Don't lie to me," Avery teased him. "But thanks for boosting my ego."

Harry just nodded and sighed as he looked up at his ceiling, zoning Avery out. He again let his mind slip to Zac and he hated how much he let Zac use him. He hated that he was so naive and dumb and maybe slightly in love with a man who may never be ready to come out or face reality and he really hated that Zac was getting married in two weeks and that would possibly end whatever relationship they had going.


	2. Play Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "Don't tempt me," he spoke sounding wistful.

The next morning Harry stood in the kitchen making a pot of coffee as he heard the front door open. Raising an eyebrow when he saw Zac come in.

He had known that Zac had stayed out all night, mainly because after Avery had left he had went to the bedroom he shared with Zac and had slept there only to never be woken up once during the night.

Usually if Zac joined him in bed he was really good at waking up.

"You have a good time?" Harry questioned his tone coming out harsh as he looked Zac over. His hair was a mess and he almost looked like he hadn't slept a bit.

Shrugging his shoulder Zac's cheeks turned pink. Something which Harry would usually find endearing but he didn't today.

"I guess," Zac offered him sounding equally as exhausted as he looked. "Josie and I went out with a few of her friends and then I just crashed at her place," he explained as he walked behind Harry. His arms sliding around his waist. "Have a good time with my sister?" he asked as his lips went to kiss the skin at Harry's neck.

Harry closed his eyes as Zac kissed his neck. The contact sending shivers down his spine. "As good a time as I could have while missing you," he admitted not sure how he'd survive once Zac married Josie in two weeks. "You sure you slept at her place though? You kind of look like shit," he smirked as he opened his eyes.

Turning his head slightly he just looked at Zac.

"Slept as good as I could without you beside me," Zac answered as he gave Harry a smile and the smile looked real to Harry.

Except Harry could also see through him and he knew while it looked real that it wasn't. Zac may have been telling the truth with his words but he wasn't with his smile.

Harry wondering if everything was slowly starting to pile up on Zac. If Zac was getting sick of pretending to be something he wasn't and if that was the case Harry wished Zac would tell him. He'd willingly save him from the mess and do what he could to protect him from the fall out.

"How are you going to sleep once you marry her then?" Harry asked curiously. "You won't have me there and I'm pretty sure she won't be okay with you sneaking out every night just to sleep with me."

"I'll adjust," Zac answered as his cheeks got even more red. "I have to adjust."

"Or you could call the whole thing off and be with me," Harry grinned as he leaned in to peck Zac's lips. "You could just be mine forever."

Zac pursed his lips as if he was considering the idea, "Don't tempt me," he spoke sounding wistful.

"I think I like tempting you though," Harry winked as he pecked Zac's lips again. "Do you have plans with her today?" he questioned hoping Zac didn't.

He wanted Zac to be his like he was on most Saturday's.

"Nope," Zac answered with a shake of his head before finally returning Harry's pecks. "I'm free today though tomorrow I promised her I'd come over after church. That I'd help her get some last minute wedding planning done but I should be away from her come night time."

Harry nodded not really liking the fact that Zac would be with her tomorrow. "I don't even see why you go to church," he sighed as he pulled away once the coffee was done. Pouring himself a cup once he had a mug in hand. "It's not like you're the best christian boy or the best son of a preacher," he told him after he finished pouring his coffee.

Going to the table he sat down slowly.

"You didn't pour me a cup," Zac pouted not even moving to join Harry at the table. "And I know I'm not the best example of either but I go because it's what my dad expects. It's what he taught me and ingrained in me. You wouldn't understand," he shrugged looking away from Harry.

Harry having the urge to ask Zac to make him understand somehow but knew he wouldn't. It was apparent Zac was in a stubborn mood today.

"You don't like coffee," Harry retorted his tone sarcastic. "Though I did buy your favorite cereal when I was at the store the other day if you want to make yourself a bowl," he smiled sadly watching as Zac looked at him again. "Is your dad the reason you can't accept that you love me?" he asked boldly, watching as Zac sucked in a breath.

But besides sucking in his breath Zac fell silent. Going to fix his bowl of cereal instead of answering Harry's question.

"I guess your silence speaks for itself," Harry replied as he took a drink of his coffee. "He is the reason you can't accept that you love me."

Zac once again stayed silent as he finished fixing his bowl of cereal but this time Harry didn't say anything. Just watched as Zac finally joined him at the table, knowing just from the look on his face that he was about to crack.

"Even though he is that doesn't change things," Zac defended in between bites of his cereal. "I can't ruin the image he has of me in his head just so I can play your husband."

Taking another drink of his coffee Harry sighed, "Play husband?" he asked his tone bitter. "So what you acting like my husband half the time is just you pretending? What we have here is just pretend?"

"That's not what I meant," Zac clarified sounding annoyed when he had no right to be in this situation. "What we have here is very real but it can't be and if he knew..."

"If he knew you'd end things with me?" Harry asked his voice faltering some because he didn't want to think of a life without Zac.

Even if that could be a reality once he married Josie....if he married her.

Zac sucked in another breath after Harry had asked his question. Looking almost pained but even with the pained look Harry knew what he'd say. Saw it in his eyes.

"Y...yeah I would," Zac spoke and Harry felt his heart breaking. "I'd end things with you Harry."

Now it was Harry who had went silent. He had been expecting the words but they hurt much more than he had expected them too. Made it more real just how in the closet that Zac truly was. How in the closet Zac planned on staying.

Looking away from Zac, Harry finished his coffee and once he had he proceeded to take the dirty mug to the sink where he washed it. His teeth occasionally biting his lip because when he did that it was the only thing that was keeping him from crying right now.

Once the mug had been washed he placed it in the drainer, turning to head down the hall. He just wanted a shower and to leave the apartment for a bit because being around Zac wouldn't be good for either of them, not right now anyway.

Almost thankful that Zac hadn't come after him because he didn't want to see Zac right now or continue talking to him.

***

After his shower Harry slipped out of the shower and dried off quickly. Dressing in a hurry as well as fixing his hair as best as he could with it wet and once he felt okay with how he looked he left the bathroom. Heading back towards the kitchen where he found Zac still in the kitchen just standing at the sink as if lost in a daze.

Yet when he heard footsteps he turned to face Harry and Harry just swallowed hard as Zac looked him over.

"You going somewhere?" Zac asked sounding like he wanted Harry to stay. There was just something in his tone but Harry knew Zac wouldn't press it. Wouldn't argue with him to stay.

Nodding his head Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I just need time to think and get out," he admitted refusing to even look at Zac after saying that.

Instead he continued on his way to the front door of the apartment.

"Are you going to be back tonight?" Zac asked and without even looking back at him Harry could hear the frown in his voice.

"I don't know," Harry told him honestly as he opened the door and walked out before Zac could say more to him. He just wanted to be away from Zac for awhile. Not to have conversations.

A conversation was what had ruined the morning.

***

Sighing as he sat at the piano in the apartment Zac did his best to pay attention to the keys. Did his best to play out the melody that was in his head. The melody that wouldn't leave and had been haunting him all throughout the day.

Ever since Harry had left and hadn't returned.

It had been hours and it was getting dark which left Zac worried. He was worried for Harry's safety but he was also worried he wouldn't come back to him. That Harry would just stay gone and maybe he understood it in a way. Maybe he understood it if Harry did stay gone because he knew he had used Harry for too long and people could only take so much being used.

"God fucking damn it," Zac exclaimed as he hit the keys of the piano too hard as a sigh escaped him. "I always fuck things up."

"Not always," Avery spoke from where she now stood beside the door. A sad smile playing on her lips as she did so.

Rolling his eyes Zac laughed bitterly, "Only ninety percent of the time?" he asked as he scooted over on the piano bench so she could join him.

He had after all called her to come over knowing Harry had given her a spare key and maybe it was low of him to ask Harry's best friend to come over but she was also his sister and the only sibling he was closest too.

"Yeah ninety percent of the time works well for you," Avery agreed as she walked over and sat down beside Zac. "I'm guessing the reason you called me over is the same reason Harry showed up at my place this afternoon?" she asked as she raised an eyebrow. "He wouldn't elaborate what was wrong with him but I'm getting the hint you two are having an argument."

"We are," Zac frowned as he avoided Avery's gaze. "It happened again Avery," he whispered as he felt tears sting his eyes. "I'm fucking defective."

Avery seemed to pause at his words like she was trying to figure out what he meant and Zac knew she would she was a smart girl. She'd remember the time she had caught teenage him making out with a boy in their neighborhood.

He had sworn her to secrecy and said it was just a phase. That it had meant nothing but then when she had been eighteen she had caught him again with a man. They just never talked about it not that she hadn't tried but he wouldn't let her.

"You and Harry?" Avery finally asked sounding shocked though Zac and she both knew she shouldn't be.

"Yeah me and Harry," Zac whispered unable to look at his sister. The only person in his family who knew his secrets. "Like I said I'm defective Avie. I'm almost thirty and I just want to please dad. Marry a girl and be his good son. I do like Josie...I like her and I don't want to lose my family. Everyone not just dad, they'd all leave me."

Avery frowned as she reached over to brush hair out of his face. "I'm your sister and I'm still here Zachary," she told him as she moved closer, her arms going around him. "I'm here and I love you and I support you. I don't think your defective," she told him and her words were enough to make him cry.

Her hold getting tighter on him.

"I am defective," Zac whispered as he hiccuped slightly. Hating the fact that he was breaking down in his baby sister's arms. It should have been the other way around. Him comforting her over something. "I'm not the son dad wanted or the son he has in Isaac, Taylor, and Mac," he spoke knowing he always got the brunt of their dad's anger.

He had always done things their dad never liked. Like growing his hair out even when Taylor and Isaac had cut theirs. Then there had been him wanting to be a singer but their dad had shot that down too. Said rock n roll was devil music.

So Zac had given up that dream. Chose to put his passion into art and becoming a teacher which his dad had been okay with.

"I like guys for god fucking sakes Avery. I like guys," he repeated as he cried harder. "I don't wanna marry Josie but I want to make dad happy. I always want to make dad happy."

Avery rubbed Zac's back seemingly handling his breakdown like a pro.

"Even if it cost you your own happiness?" she questioned him her voice cracking only slightly. "Even if you're miserable?"

Closing his eyes Zac swallowed a lump in his throat. "I can pretend to be happy," he muttered as he opened his eyes and forced himself to look at Avery. "If I kept Harry on the side maybe I can pretend to be happy with Josie."

Avery shook her head with a sigh, "Zachary," she muttered sounding like she was scolding him. "That isn't fair to Harry or even to you or Josie," she told hold him as they locked eyes. "Anyway I'm not even sure Harry's coming back," she admitted her words feeling like a kick to his gut. "He wouldn't tell me what was wrong with him and he did say he thought about leaving. Thought about going away for awhile or for good. Said he was coming to tell me goodbye just in case."

Moving out of Avery's embrace Zac once again swallowed a lump in his throat. "He has to come back," he reasoned. Though he wouldn't blame Harry if he didn't. "He can't just leave us like that Avery."

"But he might," Avery told him and after her words things fell silent between the siblings.

Zac not sure how long they sat on the piano bench. But they finally moved when Avery mentioned being hungry. Zac deciding they'd call something in.

Soon realizing not long after the food had arrived that Harry probably wasn't coming back which hurt him. But he deserved it.

He deserved being hurt by Harry.

***

Closing his eyes as he sat on a bus that was headed to California, Harry took a deep breath, trying to steady his fast beating heart.

He knew leaving was a huge step but if he hadn't he'd just continue to let Zac use him and what good was that?

It surely wasn't healthy and Harry needed healthy. Healthy for him just happened to be a spur of the moment decision to leave Boston and Zac behind.

Hell he was leaving with just the clothes on his back.

"But I had to do this," he reasoned to himself as he opened his eyes and looked out the window at the fast moving scenery. Zac's words this morning were constantly playing in his head. He'd end things if Walker ever found out. That let Harry know Zac was nowhere near ready to come out or put him first, not when he still wanted to please his dad. Hell, Harry wasn't even sure Zac came first to himself and that meant for now they just wouldn't work. One of them was bound to leave first and it turned out it was him.

Maybe one day Zac would realize why he had done this and Zac would finally be strong enough to come out and finally be happy, though Harry reckoned when that day happened it would be with another man because he'd probably never see Zac again. He'd never see him and that too meant Harry now had to move on from his longest and first ever real relationship.

"I just hope I can," Harry frowned unsure how to even start moving on when his heart felt like it was scattering into a million pieces the farther the bus got away from the apartment he had shared with Zac...the farther the bus got away from Zac.


	3. Wedding Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt: "He knew and he prayed for my goddamn soul," he hissed out not even caring that he was in a church.

Avery chewed her lip hard as she stood in the back room at the church where her brother was going to get married. Two weeks had passed by awfully fast since Harry had left and Avery had found herself at every turn trying to convince Zac not to do this, not to go through with his marriage to Josie and yet every time he'd turn her down, tell her he was making the right choice and that now with Harry out of the picture just maybe he could try to stop being defective again.

Avery half suspected though that Zac was only doing this because he was still hurt that Harry had left though Zac did state he didn't blame Harry for leaving and hell Avery didn't blame Harry for leaving either. She probably would have left too had she been in his shoes.

"Ave?" a voice asked and Avery came out of her thoughts, shaking her head slightly as she looked at her older and very pregnant sister Jessica. "Can you go run the rings to Taylor please?"

"Why do you have the rings?" Avery asked as she raised an eyebrow but she held out her hand and took the rings. She'd run them to Taylor and maybe she could get a few minutes with Zac, find some time to stop him from this mistake and hopefully get through.

Jessica laughed before putting a hand on her back, "Taylor left them on the table at the restaurant after the wedding rehearsals and Nolan picked them up and brought them home with us," she answered as she shrugged. "Leave it to Taylor to leave the rings on the darn table."

"Thank god your husband had the sense to pick them up," Avery spoke not being able to keep her composure and not laugh at that because it was a typical Taylor thing to do. "I'll go run the rings to him before he starts to lose his mind over them," she said as she turned to leave the room.

"He already is losing his mind," Josie added in as Avery stopped in her tracks and looked at her. "He took Natalie just a few minutes ago to go look for the rings. If I had known Jessica had them I wouldn't have told Natalie she could leave. I really could use her help making sure my makeup is just right."

Avery gave Josie her best smile, "When I track them down I'll tell Natalie you need her, yeah," she said as she quickly left before Josie could say more. Avery had already disliked Josie before finding out about Harry and Zac but it seemed that ever since finding out about them, she had taken even more of a dislike to the woman who seemed to treat everyone as if she was better than them just because she was from the South. Avery had enough mind to tell her that the South lost the damn war and that Josie could very well lose Zac once Zac realized or was ready to come out of a closet that he was in for fear of making his dad angry.

***

Zac took several deep breaths as he stood in one of the back rooms at the church. It was his wedding day and he half felt like he was going to be sick. Now that the day was finally here he was finding that he wasn't so sure he wanted to do this, he wasn't sure he could stand up there at that altar and pledge his love and life to Josie when he knew deep down it would be a farce.

"You okay son?" Walker asked as he turned to look at Zac who he was alone in the room with. Before it had been him and all of his sons but Taylor had taken the others in a hunt to find the rings he had misplaced. "I'm sure Taylor will find the rings if that is what has you upset."

"It's not the rings," Zac said as he turned to look at his father. "I'm just nervous about this whole marriage thing."

Walked chuckled as he walked over to his son, "You know Zachary, it's nothing to worry about," he said as he shook his head, his hand going to rest on Zac's back. "Heck, I was almost afraid you'd never get married at all."

"Really?" Zac asked as he looked at his father curiously. "You never voiced your concerns to me."

"Voicing those concerns would mean I knew about your sins Zachary," Walker admitted and Zac felt his confusion change to one of horror. "I knew about you and Donovan when you were a teenager. His parents told me he confessed to them he was gay and that his first relationship had been with you. Then I heard rumors about you and Harry...one of the guys I counsel, try to turn away from that awful homosexual lifestyle saw you and him at some gay bar together. I feared Harry would actually stop this wedding from happening but I think his leaving was God's way of answering all my prayers for you. Now you can try to have the life you are meant to have. Marrying Josie and having children, doing things the way it says too in the bible."

Hearing his dad, Zac moved away from him as his mouth fell open and he shook his head, "You knew?" he asked almost angry that his dad had known this whole time and just ignored it, even prayed for his soul but had never confronted him over it or anything.

Walker nodded as he eyed Zac and when he tried to step closer Zac only moved away from him, "Zachary," he warned his voice becoming stern. "I knew but I was praying for God to straighten you out and he did. Today you have the ability to become a new man...you have the ability to make both God and I proud of you. I've always wanted you with a woman and it broke my heart knowing for a time it seemed like maybe I wouldn't get that."

Before Zac could reply back to his dad he looked up when he heard someone clear their throat and both he and his father turned to see Avery standing in the doorway of the room and Zac knew from the look on her face that she had at least caught some of the conversation between them.

"I umm..just wanted to speak to Zac privately," Avery spoke after her father and Zac both turned to look at her. "I had came to give Taylor the rings he lost and after finally tracking him down I came to talk to Zac before he officially ties himself down for good," she nodded and Zac could see when she smiled at them that it was fake.

"Of course," Walker grinned as he went to exit the room. "You two have always been the closest and how could I not expect you to want to say something to him."

Avery kept her smile plastered on her lips until their dad left the room and the moment he was gone she turned to face Zac, "He knew?" she asked him as she crossed her arms and shook her head.

Zac was at least glad she had the decency to have dropped her fake smile.

"It would seem that way," Zac answered as he looked at Avery before sitting down in a chair. "He knew and he prayed for my goddamn soul," he hissed out not even caring that he was in a church. "He thinks Harry leaving was the answer to his prayers."

"It wasn't," Avery said as she shook her head again, her arms uncrossing. "He left because..well because you were an asshole and not because some higher power answered our dad's prayers."

Zac ran a hand through his hair, "But maybe he did leave because God did answer our dad's prays. Maybe dad is getting his answer in praying my gay away," he mused unsure of what anything meant at the moment. The only thing he was sure of though was he really still did not want to go through with this wedding and that he missed Harry.

Avery rolled her eyes at that, "So that means there is no chance of me talking you out of the wedding then?" she asked with what sounded like a hint of hopefulness.

At least to Zac it had sounded hopeful.

"No," Zac answered as he shook his head. "I may be nervous about this and our dad may be an ass but I refuse to back down from this. I have to do this and who knows, I could turn straight. Dad could pray hard enough."

"You love Harry," Avery said after Zac looked up at her again. "You can't keep trying to deny what you want because of our dad. Harry's left you but you still have time to stop this and go after him in California."

"No!" Zac said much more harsher with Avery. "I'm not changing my mind and I'm not going after Harry. He doesn't want that anyway, okay. He gave up on me and yes he had a reason but I doubt he'd want me back. I hurt him too much and so my decision is made. I'm marrying Josie, end of."

Huffing Avery stared at Zac for the longest time but finally admitted defeat it seemed because all she did was turn to leave the room.

Left Zac sitting on a chair with a lot of thoughts running through his head.

***

Standing at the altar Avery did her best to try to act happy as she watched her dad, the man who she felt was the main reason for this farce of a wedding be the one to marry off Josie and Zac, even though he knew, had known that Zac was gay and in the closet for awhile now.

She did her best to bite her tongue right when she heard her father mutter the words that if anyone knew of a reason why Zac and Josie shouldn't be married to speak now or forever hold their peace and Avery's biting her tongue had worked though it seemed that Zac hadn't bitten his tongue because the moment his mouth opened to speak Avery stood there frozen.

"I..I can't do this," Zac said as he everyone turned to look at him. Audible gaps being heard from all over the church. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Josie," he sighed and Avery swore she had never seen Josie look more panic stricken.

"I can't marry you. Not when I...I love someone else and he isn't here because of me,"Zac finished, Avery feeling proud yet stunned that this was how Zac had chosen to come out.

"Z..Zachary you don't know what you are saying," Walker muttered out.

Avery only rolled her eyes at how disgusted their dad looked. Knew from now on her older brother would probably be cut off from the family.

Zac shook his head as he walked down from where he had been standing, "No, I do know what I am saying," he said as he nodded his head. "I love Harry and he isn't here and I need to find him even if it takes me forever because I really don't know where in the hell I am going to look once I get to California and yeah I plan to go after him," he laughed out loud, not even once turning to look back at their dad once he turned away.

Avery couldn't help the grin on her face as she too moved from where she was standing and she ran to where Zac was, pulling him into a hug, "I love you and I'm so so proud of you and I'll help you find Harry because he is my best friend and I miss that little asshole too," she whispered as she clung to Zac, feeling tears come to her eyes but they were happy tears. She was happy that Zac had finally done what he had needed to do since he was a teenager and come out to their family and also admit to himself how he felt.

Zac hugged Avery back and both of them stayed that way for what felt like forever but was probably only minutes.

When Zac pulled away he gave Avery a smile before taking one of her hands in his, "Let's go track down my man," he muttered before leading the way out of the church.

***

"Do you think we will find him?" Zac asked as he laid beside Avery in some hotel in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It was the place they had chosen to stay the night, the night that should have been his honeymoon night but wasn't. It was the night he got his freedom back though and was hopefully one step closer to finding Harry again.

"We're Hanson's Zac," Avery smiled as she turned to look at her brother. "We always find and get what we want and you will find Harry again," she reassured him as she reached to move some hair out of Zac's eyes. "I..I'm just incredibly proud of what you did today."

Smiling at Avery's words, Zac closed his eyes after she had moved the hair out of them, "I had to do it. I..I kept having flashes of my life when I was standing up there. Having kids, seeing the world, late night kisses, just general being happy and in each of those flashes it wasn't Josie beside me, it was Harry. Harry's the person I want beside me in all of my happiest moments."

"And he will be."

At Avery's insistence Zac stayed quite and he let his mind wander and he let himself hope that Avery was right. That they'd find Harry even though they didn't even know where to begin looking for him at.


End file.
